My mom didn't want me to be pretty.

I grew up in a family of 10. That’s right. 10. I have a mom, a dad, 2 brothers, and 5 sisters. With many girls in my family, you may wonder how my self esteem would be if my mom didn’t want me to be “pretty.”

My childhood bathroom may have looked different then others, growing up with 6 girls in my house. It was always filled with bows, lipstick, earrings, mascara, hair clips, brushes, curling irons…etc. There was pressure from a young age instilled in me to look good.

But not on the outside.

I must confess I remember my mom saying I look pretty, but my mom never wanted me to be pretty. She wanted me to be beautiful.

Beautiful is defined as “pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically; of a very high standard; excellent.” (Oxford dictionary.)

Pretty is defined as attractive in a delicate way without being truly beautiful or handsome. (Oxford dictionary)

I hope you can see why my mother wanted me to be one of these words and not the other, because I completely agree with her.   

In a Tedx talk given by experienced model Cameron Russel, she said we—our society—defines beauty and has for centuries.

In a TedxYouth talk, Clare Stem, a high school senior concurs with Russel stating, “Beauty is dependent on one person’s perspective at one point in time.”

My mother knew this. She knew that being pretty is letting me believe in one persons (or our society’s) definition of beauty. Being ‘pretty’ is checking the mirror to make sure you look perfect because you don’t want anyone to see imperfections. She knew that teaching me to obsess over my looks and not what is on the inside would be teaching me lies

Because she knew this she taught me that inner beauty or being truly beautiful is where life begins to matter. Because when you start to see your inner beauty, you start to notice others. You truly start to see why this world is a wonderful place.

Don’t just be pretty, be beautiful. And don’t forget to tell someone they are beautiful today.